A time for surrender
by Joan C. King
It’s two am the morning after Chemo #5.
It is a time for surrender
to the impending depth of fatigue
that will call me into a cave
by tomorrow night.
At first, the fatigue lasted
a week after chemo treatment,
then two weeks.
How long will fatigue
hold me in its grip
this time?
I do not know.
What I do know
is that this is a time for surrender.
Willingly I respond to the call
to enter the depths
where words are few,
a place of BEING not doing;
a place I did not know
before chemotherapy.
I know that aspects of my being
are being birthed in these depths.
I know not what they are or
when they will emerge
but I open to this new part of me
and welcome it
to integrate with all of who I am.
When will this end?
I know I will have time to
ponder and record
“A Jolt of Joan”
before I enter the cave
of silence.
Who is there
waiting to come forth?
